At Keith Norris Counselling, we understand that the experience of grief is as unique as the individuals who go through it. For many years, theories like those of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and John Bowlby have shaped our understanding of bereavement, offering helpful frameworks for the types of reactions people may experience when faced with the loss of a loved one. These stage models—whether it’s Kübler-Ross’s five stages or Bowlby’s four stages—serve as a guide to some common feelings people might encounter, from denial and anger to yearning and acceptance.

However, recent research tells a different story. While these models can help us name and recognize specific aspects of grief, they do not capture the full picture of what most people actually go through. In reality, grief does not follow a predictable sequence of stages. Instead, it is a deeply personal and complex process, with no “one-size-fits-all” approach.

Many individuals do experience moments of intense sadness, yearning, or even despair. But they also find themselves having moments of joy, laughter, and appreciation for the support they receive. It’s not uncommon to share a fond memory or even crack a joke while reminiscing about a loved one. Far from being an altered state of consciousness to be feared, grief is woven into the fabric of our everyday lives.

Rather than being overwhelmed by their grief or unable to function, most people find a way to integrate their loss into their ongoing life story. The death of a loved one is undeniably painful, and their absence will always be felt. Yet for most, the memory of their loved one becomes a cherished part of their life, and they find a way to move forward with resilience and strength.

At Keith Norris Counselling, we’re here to support you through every phase of this journey. We believe that there is no “right” way to grieve, only your way. Our goal is to help you navigate your own path, find moments of comfort and connection, and ultimately discover a renewed sense of purpose and hope. If you or someone you know is struggling with loss, reach out to us. Together, we can honor your loved one while helping you heal and move forward.